Monday, June 30, 2008


My emotions are all over the place tonight. I just spent 20 minutes crying and I have no idea what caused the tears. I just sat back and let them flow.

I am trying to be good at this healthy lifestyle thing. I am taking my supplements and eating well and exercising and meditating and getting acupuncture. Sometimes it just seems like so much work. I know it's good work, work I need to be doing to elongate my life and evolve as a person; but sometimes I miss the old days, days where I wasn't worrying about calories and points values and when I can eat what. Days that weren't spent obsessing over food and forcing myself to exercise. Days where I didn't think twice about a tablespoon of olive oil, feel guilty about splurging on a kid's size Ben and Jerry's frozen yogurt cone, or debate the repercussions of skipping a day of exercise.

At what point does the obsession stop?

Will it ever stop?

There are certain times when this all seems so exhausting. Am I taking on too much? At what point does working towards good health for your body become unhealthy for your soul?

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