Those of you who know me well know that I frequently say things like, "I really don't want to get married" or "I don't need a man to make me happy" and other things like that. I think that whenever I say these things, I am trying to convince myself that they are true. I am trying to, in a way, prepare myself for a life of being romantically unloved. I am maybe even succumbing to what I think others are thinking about me; the fat girl never gets the guy, so why even attempt?
I came to the realization this morning that if I keep saying these things, if I keep putting negative thoughts and energy into the world, I will never find what I actually AM looking for. In reality, I want love to find me and I want someone to share the world with. I want all the cheesy passion and romance you see in the movies. I want to love and be loved and live a modern happily ever after, complete with the arguments and challenges and struggles that can break you or MAKE YOU as a couple.
Trying to be someone who doesn't want love will only prevent me from finding it.
From this point onward, I am going to try to open myself up to the idea of finding love. And I am going to tell the world what I REALLY want from life, not only professionally, but personally. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it.