Instead of working out today, I decided to give myself a break after job #1 and go to my WW meeting this afternoon.
I lost 1 pound in 2 weeks. Considering I've been busting my ass at the gym almost every day the past 14 days, I was a little disappointed with the numbers. But, everyone has weeks like this, and the way that I've been eating hasn't been as great as it could have been. And between the Bat Mitzvah and my birthday and my homemade lower-fat banana bread (which I tend to forget still has calories and fat grams) I can't say I'm all that surprised. Ah, well, life goes on. 1 pound down is a lot better than 1 pound up!
This week has been a busy one, as I've been working 2 jobs, preparing Shabbatot to sing for, house-sitting, and working on my still unfinished liturgy paper and sermon for Aug 8. It's getting to the point where I can see how tough it is to track points and make sure I get to the gym as often as possible. I guess I'd forgotten what real life is like (i.e. what life will be like once I get into the swing of school again) and I realized that I am going to have to work extra hard to maintain and lose more weight.
I know I should be up for the challenge.
I know I should be enthusiastic about my new healthy ways.
I know I should be envisioning the Tracy I want to see in another year.
I know, I know, I know.
But for now, the thought of adding on to my gym routine (which is already kicking my ass) or giving up any more food or trying any sort of new technique is completely exhausting. It's hard to want to do more, though I realize as the numbers on the scale get smaller I am going to have to work harder to keep them decreasing.
I think for today, until I get over this gloomy patch, I am going to think about today.
Right here, right now.
What I need to do to make today the healthiest day it can be.
There are definitely days where the future looks bright, where I can envision myself thinner and healthier and stronger.
Today just isn't one of them.
And every now and then, I am okay with having one of those days.