The last 2 weeks have been such a test of my mental and physical capabilities. Midterm season at HUC is intense, and topped off with a pulpit visit and the prospective-student open house I was involved in, I have been in a continuous state of exhaustion.
And in case you didn't already assume or figure it out:
Continuous exhaustion=Tracy eats all of the food in front of her and then some and wants to do nothing but lay in bed or on the couch all day long.
It's quite the happy place to be.
It helps that I don't keep junk in the house. Upon her visit to my apartment, Steph couldn't stop remarking on how much my eating habits have changed since she first met me in Israel last year. It really is true that the artificial and fat-laden foods that once lived in my cabinets have now been replaced by natural, organic (when I can afford it) and healthy snacks and meal options. It's progress, definite progress, but unless I change how I eat outside of my apartment, it isn't enough.
I sometimes feel as though HUC is continuously trying to sabatoge my efforts to eat healthy. Bagels twice a week, pizza at least once a week, marble cake all the freakin' time, random leftovers all the time, etc. It's SO TEMPTING to not schlep my homemade and healthy salads and soups to school in favor of eating the crap that's always around. On days when I wake up late and I'm running around just trying to get to school on time and in one piece, it's so much easier to know that I'll have something to eat waiting for me instead of packing a lunch.
It's also not easy to go to South Bend and request healthy food. I usually recieve an email of some sort before I arrive at someone's house for dinner, asking if I have any allergies or special food requests. I ALWAYS respond with, "I prefer very healthy food, lots of fruits and vegetables and lean proteins." It's amazing how many of my congregants don't seem to pay attention and serve me 4-cheese risotto for dinner. It's so sweet and wonderful of them to invite me over, and I so very much appreciate the gesture that I can't so much as say no. I try to eat small portions and eat lightly whenever I'm on my own, but it's so easy to derail and then feel awful about it.
I can tell that my resolve is weakening, that my balance scale is slowly starting to lean in the wrong direction. I'm thinking that I should either get back on the WW bandwagon (even though I really don't have the time right now) or take the plunge and buy a scale for my apartment (which I am terrified to do for a number of reasons.) I need something to keep me on track, especially through the holiday season and the mass quantities of food I know I'll consume.
Do you have any ideas for staying on top of things?
On the upside, I just had another date with another guy who really wants to see me again. I'm actually kinda into this one, who is very into taking things slowly (the date ended with a kiss on the cheek, which is what really sold me into seeing him again...how cute was that?) I'm not sure where it's going, but I'm excited to see...I'll keep you posted.
What the hell is going on here? It's so strange to think that men are attracted to me...it's never really happened before and I'm not sure I know how to handle it. Weird.