Friday, September 12, 2008

What if

What if he takes one look at me and decides to turn around and walk away?
What if he has that disappointed, "just another fattie" look on his face the entire time we're together, and only stays because he's polite?
What if we connect beautifully, and then he tells the truth that he just can't be attracted to someone like me?
What if he tells me I'm just not good enough for him?

I'm not a big dater.
There are reasons for that.

All of the above have happened to me at one point or another. As much as I want to find someone, I sometimes think I'd be happier just being alone, without having to hear anything else like this.

I can't find love without being willing to put myself out there. I can't be afraid of the things people (men) can say or do. I can't be scared that this one date will derail all of the work I've done to build and sustain my self-confidence. Or rather, I should say that I can't ALLOW this one date to derail anything. It's all up to me.

I'm scared of tomorrow.

So stupid. So true.

Does it ever work out for those of us who aren't a size 6?

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