I stayed the same this week. The scale was pretty nice to me considering all the crap I ate this week--pasta waaaaay too many times, pesto, gallons of olive oil (I tend to forget that it has calories...), the delicious brunch at Timol Shilshom on Friday morning, half a package of brownies leftover from Shabbat, etc etc etc. Basically carbs and fat. Terrific. Go me.
It's always disappointing to me when I stay the same, even though everyone says it happens sometimes. To me, it's as bad as gaining weight, because I know I could have done better. I think that's the voice of Grandpa Sid talking in my ear, telling me that I should have lost weight, because I didn't join WW to stay the same, I joined it to lose. I guess my disappointment is a combination of my own guilt mixed with the shame of having to tell people I didn't lose--a flashback to the disappointment I caused to Grandpa when I wasn't successful in what he wanted.
It's also a new kind of disappointment, since I now want to lose weight more for me than for anyone else. I let myself down more than I did others, and it really hurts.
I guess it's just an example of how determined I am, how much I want this. I WILL get there, I WILL keep trying, and I WILL succeed.
Just not tonight, I guess.